Over at Jonestown, Fairlane wrote this brilliant post, "Shut The Door on Your Way Out and Don't Forget To Turn Off the Lights". The central theme of this post is when one says enough; enough to tyranny, enough to stupidity, enough to anything that is antithetical to human existence. It's what inspired me to publish this piece, where I finally get got my Ass back in out of Church. Here's my story Fairlane. I said enough and never went to church again....
Blue Moon Easter
There's always a cloud of doubt
Floating 'bove us
In church every Sunday.
Why else the need
For so much re-affirmation?
But on this Easter Sunday
This once-in-a-blue-moon day,
In my particular church,
The smell of deceit
Wafts rancid.
APEX worshippers come in droves
This Blue Moon Easter
To hedge their bets
Because heaven forbid
They're wrong about God.
It's a communion of people
So a common spirit lives
In this uneasy gathering;
Even if only to lather and blather
about rejecting earthly sin.
Ah, but a devil lies in wait
It takes the immutable form
Of our deep-seeded hate
Of having having to do this over and again
For four more hours a year.
Who has the time?
It's work for sure,
Which robs their spirits
Of everyday debauchery
on this APEX holiday.
But it's really having to face
The ills and evils
The brim and boil
'Neath their floral bonnets
And their fine linen suits.
Within this Jesus-house of tinted glass
Many stones are tossed
With wreckful abandon at
The nebulous reflections of
Their unlikeable selves.
And after the stones bounce back
Off the plexified windows
And lacerate their material forms,
They all exit happily, extolling
The salvation of their souls.
Please, open the doors.
Air me out of the hall
That's filled with choking smoke
Coming from all those altered
Candles and mouths.
For on this reverent day,
This Blue moon Easter Sunday,
In my church,
The stench of the mass
Is killing me.
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Over the years teaching at La Scuola d’Italia NY, I have learned that
children are not just students; they are careful observers of the world,
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6 months ago
My biggest problem with Catholic Mass was that it's so damn boring. The same monotone, repetitive responses etc. "And also with you. ZZZZZ."
ReplyDeleteI think one issue to consider is that we often associate an Idea/Ideal with people.
Christians, at least the ones we hear from most often, tend to be assholes, which in turn makes their religion seem to be a religion for assholes, and by default that means "God" must also be an asshole.
I'm no Christian, and will never be, but I think it's important to look at why we believe what we believe, and to make sure we do it honestly.
Not to say you're not being honest, this is just something I think about from time to time.
For example,
Do I disagree with a Republican stance because I honestly disagree or is it because I dislike all the angry, bitter little Wingnuts that support it?
Personally, the more I blog, and the more I interact with people of various Political Ideologies, I find myself disagreeing more and more with "mainstream Liberals," who seem to be not much different than the Wingnuts. (I'm not turning to the Darkside or anything, so don't worry).
Anway. I think you did an excellent job describing what the "Christian" experience is like.
Fairlane -
ReplyDeleteIn response to your comment, I can only say "well...duh." And I mean this in a complimentary way because I am with you on the "wingnuttiness" of both the left and right. Both sides of the political aisle have their self-righteous blow hards whose chief aim is not to serve the public, but to stay elected.
Moreover, the issues that they stand on, particularly the ones representing moral values are derived from the completely contrived notion that ours is a "Christian nation." This galls me to no end.
I vote for a candidate who represents my interests (education, health care, improved infrastructure) and not one who plays to my moral values or plays on my fears. I am a firm believer that one's moral conscience is an innate individual trait (not sure if that's the right word here, but let's run with it). Moreover, I feel that the only province that government has over this trait is where it runs afoul with the laws that are meant to protect our individual freedoms.
As for the poem itself, what I was shooting at was the hypocrisy of this branch of Christian belief. My thinking is, why engage if you don't believe? In essence, I was saying "enough".
spartacus, I'm trying to connect the Blue Moon of the title with Easter, the church experience and Christianity. No luck though.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, I'm not sure if the narrator dislikes people who attend church or the church organization itself.
slappz-
ReplyDeleteKeep trying. Maybe you'll figure it out. As you ponder it, ask yourself this - what's synonymous phrase for an infrequent occurrence?
I am not really sure what to say about this.
ReplyDeleteIt should be apparent that not all Christians are wingnuts. I am not responsible for the fact that they are louder and more visible than me.
I can tell you there are more of me than you might realize.
Anyone who thinks they know what is best for you- which is sadly a message that Christians love to peddle, is not to be trusted.
The APEX is a good example of how religion has been corrupted from all ends. Ash Wed and Palm Sundays are big because they are giving something out for free. The other two are the "big" holidays.
As for me, I go because I want to. At my church down here in the Nyack area (but it is not in Nyack) it is a bit dull, but I don't go to be entertained.
My church in Albany is actually very vibrant, with excellent preaching and an great sense of positive community.
Are there assholes there? Yes, you bet. I've never seen a place free of them, have you?
No I go- I went today as a matter of fact. Did I go because it was an obligation? No. I went because I wanted to. There is no way that I see God with some big attendance ledger. I go and sometimes I don't go.
So it is.
I just reread this and I feel like I never make a point. I guess my point is that hard as it may be to believe, pretty much everything I believe in comes from my faith.
And what I believe in, in terms of social justice etc is pretty close I think to what you believe.
Interesting and true.
My one concern is always that you and others like you, are disdainful of any of us who believe.
I am not disdainful of your belief in other things and your rejection of what I believe in.
It is that simple.
Peace to all.
Wow. My sinuses seized up on me there, struggling as I was to escape the claustrophobic Catholicism of my youth.
ReplyDeleteJesus, or at least the Jesus of Legend, was The Real Deal, no ass-holery there.
But The Church, The Church... They never heard his words, and I never bought their bigotry.
I'm outa here, Peace. TCR, dammit.
OK, one last thought from FranIam courtesy of Mary Ellen at Divine Democrat...
ReplyDeleteYou see Spartacus, 'cept the part about me becoming an atheist, your wish is generally my command!
IN CHURCH
There were three country churches in a small Texas town: Presbyterian, Methodist and Catholic.
Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.
After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations.
So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.
It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution:
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.
Fran-
ReplyDeleteAs always your take on things is thought-provoking and appreciated.
However, the angst I express in this poem is literally my problem. My issues with the church and church-goers is criticism for certain, but not quite the imposition you make it out to be. Like faith, you either believe in God or you don't. My lack of faith and the attendant criticisms I have for the faithful, should not sway your opinion one way or the other. After all, I'm the one who's out of the fold. My opinion matters nil in that arena.
Indeed, we do share many of the same interests when it comes to politics and social justice. But like you, I am also leery of the disdain that the faithful have for atheists like me; a disdain, I hold, that has existed for centuries.
Again I thank you for the comment. If anything, it helps me temper words so that when I do say "enough", I'm not causing some form of intellectual blunt force trauma.
Peace to you, as well.
spart
ReplyDeletei wish i knew enough about church going to comment intelligently --- having been to a mass once only.
and again i commend you for taking the time and thought to answer slappz -- he came back to me and as i said -- delete button
spartacus, you wrote:
ReplyDelete"Blue Moon Easter"
The idea of a "blue moon" suggests a rarely occurring or uncommon event. That's the easy part.
Then you write:
"There's always a cloud of doubt
Floating 'bove us
In church every Sunday."
This is where things start to get confusing. You've switched from a rare occurrence to a weekly event.
Then a couple of lines later, you write:
"But on this Easter Sunday
This once-in-a-blue-moon day,"
Now you're back to the infrequent occurence. Your poetic theme has something to do with hypocrisy. But it's not clear if you think it occurs every week or "once in a blue moon."
Moreover, as I mentioned in a previous post, the narrator is angry over what he sees in the structured religious setting. However, it isn't clear if the narrator despises the church-goers or the church.
slappz-
ReplyDeleteThanks for the commentary. You may have a point here, but allow me to clarify the text you cite. What may not be clear to you is the chronology of the two seemingly inconsistent viewpoints. What I'm trying to convey is that as it is there's already a cloud of doubt in the church, now we have these APEX (once-in-a-blue-moon) worshipers adding their own to the mix.
As it is, church experience was bad enough that the added hypocrisy simple sent me (the narrator) over the edge. I wrote with the mindset of someone who was ready to abandon the Catholic faith, which I've actually done. So to answer your question, I am down on both the church and church-goers that show up just to hedge their bets on god.
Again, thanks for the commentary. I may just revise it to account for the vagueness and "inconsistency" in the point you made.
DCap - I know you were not brought up in this faith which is why I was always loathe to read it or post it publicly. It's like one of those "private" in-group poems that I just had to write without concern for whether a wider audience had a frame of reference.
ReplyDeleteDinglebert - You certainly get where I'm coming from with this, but I must say that my Catholic experience was not ALL that bad. At least, not until I became an adult and opened my eyes to the hypocrisy.
Hmmmm... I think that if there is any chance of me ever becoming an atheist I have found it here.
ReplyDeleteFran - It's like that commercial for Chex cereal from way back when: Try it. You'll like it. (Or you may spit it all out in disgust....)
ReplyDeleteMy saying is never say never, but it is unlikely. Of course, me returning to the church was unlikely and that happened. Me staying in it- even more unlikely.
ReplyDeleteSo one never knows!