I'm so glad the Presidential election is over. I still worry about how Obama will handle his new role as President come January 20, 2009. Like many of you, I am hopeful, but cautiously so. For now, however, there's really nothing else to do but wait for his term in office to begin. While we wait, I give you this.
The Twenty Fours.
I've been working on this poetry project for quite some time. I liken the verse to a combination of haiku and sonnet in that I tried to stick to a specific form and meter. I have no rationale for constricting myself to 24 words over 5 lines. It was an arbitrary decision that made sense at the time I started this project.
Here's what I have so far.
1.
Maple eyes inlaid with
The smiling lines
That show the beauty of her age.
I am visibly shaken
By each sideways glance she throws.
2.
The juice of a hard lozenge
Occupies my tongue
And coats the fire in my throat
Dousing my outrage
Before I speak my mind.
3.
Until logic tells me otherwise
I plan to live
A life for which one
brutal truth exists:
With you is where my love lies.
4.
If I could turn
My words into morsels
Of rice, fish and vegetables,
I'd write my hand ragged
Until all the hungry are fed.
5.
Time is my ally
Until the moment
I draw my next to last breath
When I realize the sadness
Of a life without you.
6.
The hollow in my heart echoes
the clamor of your love.
It captures your rattles,
bangs and glorious music
played softly in dissonant tones.
One More Article / Un Altro Articolo
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Over the years teaching at La Scuola d’Italia NY, I have learned that
children are not just students; they are careful observers of the world,
full of q...
6 months ago
Holy shit man, these are wonderful.
ReplyDeleteHey Johnny -
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. Here's the link to some photos from the camp reunion:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007768&l=7d611&id=1329676478
Peace.
Just beautiful, Spartacus.
ReplyDeleteLove the poetry, it's wonderful. And the format is intriguing - yes, like a cross between a haiku and a sonnet. I like structured poetry - it has freedom but within a framework.
ReplyDeleteThey really are beautiful poems which touched me deeply. You are a tender- hearted, wonderful person.
ReplyDeleteand you want to ride the LIRR? i think you talents are better suited....
ReplyDeleteI think a few things:
ReplyDelete1. that train engineers should be required to write beautiful poetry or how can we trust them with something as beautiful as a train?
2. that your meter is perfect for the words that come out of you.
3. that you sound sad and if that's true I hope it's over soon.
these are lovely. I partly judge a poem by how my voice sounds in my head as I read it. My voice sounded wonderful, effortless as I read these.
ReplyDeleteI feel myself totally inadequate to examine anyones poetry.
ReplyDelete...but these are good.
Anyone who will commit any ounce of their soul to write poetry...
will commit a pound of their love
to love a humanity
that does not deserve it
will hence deserve all
that humanity can love.
and thus you and me
become all of us.
good stuff.
Thanks Randal! But I bow to your mad skillz in this form.
ReplyDeleteWhat's up Ziggy? Thanks for stopping by. I guess all those summers of writing comedy songs and color war skits paid off, eh? (To all readers: Siggy is a friend from my BBR/Camp Wabenaki days. A cool cat indeed.)
Thanks PiNYC. I need to get back to writing more.
Mauigirl.. thanks. The format idea came to me from out of the blue. I like it because it is a challenge. If anything, the format is making a much better editor of my work.
Susan.. I'm happy to know my poems have touched you so. But even this tender heart has its black spots.
DCap.. The LIRR does not want me. So, I guess I'll stick to the poetry after all.
Alecto..
1) See my response to DCap.
2) The perfect meter was largely unintentional
3) Thanks for asking. I'm fine. Sadness under control.
Dianne..
I write them the same way you judge them, I listen to the words and lay down what sounds good to me.
Thank you, okjimm.. but calling yourself inadequate to judging or writing poetry is like calling you a Bears fan... or a Giants fan for that matter. And thanks, too, for the snippet of verse you left here. I really enjoyed it.
wow. VERY, VERY good work. and i agree wholeheartedly with what OKJIMM said.
ReplyDeleteclap clap.
Thank you Anita. BTW.. hope you're feeling well these days. I'm glad you're back. :^)
ReplyDelete