A Vacation Truism

Imagine the prospect of yourself hurtling down a steel tube track at 80 degree incline at speeds reaching 92 miles per hour from a height of over 300 feet. As your car on the Millennium roller coaster reaches the apex of the first drop, you wonder to yourself "what the hell did I get into?"

..and down you go with a big "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA....HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!"

Two minutes later, you are completely blown away by the experience of having ridden one of the greatest thrill rides brought to us by the advancements in applied math and physics.

Look at this monster. Isn't she a beaut?

Well, what you don't know is that this is the metal marvel that tamed the beast that is my family.

Anyone that has decided to spawn* several kids knows that one of the inevitabilities of having them is the fights they get into. The endless bickering over who touched who or who teased who over this fear or that habit. It's enough to drive the most even-tempered parents insane. Add to the mix, a excruciating heat and humidity, and you have a mixture as combustible as 55-gallon drum of ammonia and fertilizer.

What the wife and I have discovered on this trip is that there's really only one thing that will effectively defuse this bomb -- strap them into a seat on the Millennium and trap them for two minutes of sheer adrenaline rush. I guarantee you that after the ride is over, your kids will all become the darling cooperative angels that gramma and grampa always see. I pinky swear that this is the truth.

As a test of our theory, we went on lots of rides today besides roller coasters: some that swing and spin you at terrifying heights; some that drop you straight down from terrifying heights, then bounce you back up. But if the ride wasn't on a steel tube track hurting one forward in a train of several cars, it would bring no happiness to our brood.

(Imagine the picture of that happiness here. We have plenty of proof, but no cable to connect our camera to my laptop.)

Here's the ride that took my kids to nirvana:
This one shoots you up a 420-foot vertical incline at 120 miles per hour, then drops you down at a 90 degree incline while twisting you 270 degrees, before gently bringing you to a stop.

Sure beats feeding them Ritalin.

* - borrowed from my friend DCup over at Politits.