Excerpt from The Odd Man's Times

Ah, summertime... And the livin' is easy.

But don't tell that to the Little One who felt compelled to file this story in the first (and hopefully not the last issue) of the Odd Man's Times. Issue 1, 2007 was published in the early morning hours of July 19, many hours after the freak and hellacious thunderstorm that passed through Long Island on Wednesday. We were entertaining The Nephew from New Jersey all week and I decided to take a vacation day to take him, the Little One, 13 (then 12), The Girl and The Girl's Best Friend to Splish Splash Water Park in Riverhead, NY.

I knew that there was some rain on the way and that the day would be overcast, but my logic was quite simple -- what's a little rain in a water park? You're getting wet anyway. Well, nature had a different answer. Without much further ado, here's the story filed by the Little One:

Down Poor Ruined The Day
:[
Written by: The Little One

Yesterday, the ****** family and one friend went to the number 3 best water park in the country, Splish Splash. Apparently, a Thunderstorm was moving into the area. When the first people came in, all the rides were suspended. Then we waited in the locker area that smelled like peuke (sic). POW!!!!!!!! That was the sound of the Thunder that we heard waiting. We were right in the center of the storm and it was not moving at all. I'm not sure but it might have been a perfect storm. I waited eagerly for the storm to end but the end was not near. We still did not know about the devastation the storm brought to the west of us, 5 feet of flooding in some places. People white water rafting in the streets. Worst of all, in Islip, the storm brought an F1 tornado. Things gone bad at the park. My dad, aka "**** ******", was thinking about leaving but I cept on refusing, refusing, and refusing. He was not listning to me NOT ONE BIT!!!!

And Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadddddddddddddd
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
dddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
dddddd iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiya! You Know the end, we leave and go to Mcdonald's.

So what do you think? Does the Little One have a future as a beat reporter? How about as an author? I'll say this, he has the gift of hyperbole that is so important to good writing. All good stories, whether fiction or not, require a certain amount of embellishment to grab the readers attention. Note, too, the conspicuous absence of the "and thens" in his story. He's got the muse and this Dad couldn't be any prouder.