Developing contracts is tedious business. It really is. Regardless of whether they are social or business contracts, moral ones or immoral ones developed for nefarious reasons, it's always a struggle to reach the terms acceptable to all parties. Sometimes they can drag on forever.
I'm sure they will for my fellow Long Islander, Richard Batista (h/t to Pissed in NYC).
He's demanding that his wife give back the kidney he donated to her in 2001, or give him $1.5 million. Apparently, he feels like she violated the terms of their marriage contract, -- specifically, the fidelity part -- and is seeking to gain some compensation for his donation, if not, then a return of the donation itself. Good luck with that.
You can read about it here. The best part is that Dr. Batista has a fine legal team, that reduces drastically his degrees of separation to some other wonderfully dysfunctional characters spawned from the Isle of Long. Do Joey Buttafuoco and Jessica Hahn ring any bells? And so soon after the holidays.
I digress. This post is about contracts and the current, tedious negotiations in which Skippy and I are involved in with....
Ricdiculous!
Or as he now likes to be called, Ricky D Awsome.
This year, Ricky D's been having some school issues. His grades are not where they could be and we've had conferences with his teachers who all say that he has trouble staying actively focused on tasks, and that he is forgetful.
ADD? Perhaps. He'll be tested soon.
In the meantime, Skippy and I have had to implement some changes in his lifestyle that are more conducive to focusing. And, please, give Ricky D props on this one. He's been super-cooperative in our efforts to help him do better.
But he watches way too much TV (The Office is his favorite show) and spends lots of time on the computer, and we felt that curtailing these passive activities was in order.
So, we decided to limit his TV and computer use to one hour a day for each. Further, he is not allowed to watch TV or use the computer unless his homework is finished. Finally, his TV and computer use must be terminated by 9:30PM, when he is to hit the shower. Regardless of whether or not he used up his time, 9:30PM is when his carriage becomes a pumpkin, and he is not allowed to carry unused time into the next day. It's use it or lose it.
But among his many talents, it appears his inner lawyer is beginning to emerge. You see, he pointed out quite correctly, that these rules only apply to weekdays. Skippy and I have not fully worked out how to deal with weekends and, as this past holiday season can attest, school vacations are problematic, too.
Not for him. Our enterprising boy focused himself long enough to draw up a contract detailing his TV and computer use.
Here's page 1 of the contract. Notice how he tried to sneak in some provisions that essentially invalidate the contract. It's enough to make Henry Paulson cry tears of joy!
In this draft, Skippy and I are not allowed to raise or lower the amount of (TV or computer) time unless we both explicitly agree. Also, if Skippy or I violate the agreement that allows him one hour of TV and computer time, the contract becomes null and void for one day.
Nice try, Ricky D! Congress may have abdicated it's fiduciary responsibility to oversee how taxpayer dollars are spent, but, we, the benevolent dictators of Casa de Spartacus will have none of that. We reserve the right to dictate terms, the only caveat being force majeure.
My apologies for this long, drawn out post. And, let it be known that Skippy and I are more benevolent than dictatorial. Let the contract negotiations resume; tedious though they may be.